Book Mind Over Money by Brad Klontz and Ted Klontz

Brad Klontz brings out recent psychology research especially on family trauma and connect the dots. The book is full of anecdotal story you'll be able to certainly relate to one of the many scripts.

Before reading this book, I always assumed our money value is shaped by so-called consumer culture. We get ads here and there, the government wants us insecure so we keep paying tax, etc. That story is easy to blame on by shifting our responsibility.

Instead the book guides us that so much is shaped by our family upbringing experience. And he says we as a grownup can still change that narrative around if we decide to have a hard look at within ourselves.

For example, excessive gifting behavior to your children or wives is often triggered by low self-esteem. One personal example I have on that is tipping. Many people in Canada tip the waiters.

Or as a man, I've observed that many of my male friends are surprisingly fearful to look poor in front of his girlfriends. That's why they cannot persuade the passion they dreamed of and settle with whatever jobs they carry at the moment. That's true even if the woman is working full-time. If that script is already there when you are in 20s with no child, that script'll only get worse as we get old. That insecurity comes from the insecure esteem whose worth is tied with how much money he makes.

Towards the end, Brad's accompanied it with self-guided workshop with a pen and pencil going through our parent's attitude towards money and what was their possible circumstances (ie: war, famine, depression). It was a good occasion to have a hard look at my upbringing. Mine was a mixture of money is something that shouldn't be talked and money fundamentalism.

PS: The book reminded me of a speech event back in university by David Suzuki, a Canadian environmentalist. His money script certainly seemed money hate, of which he spent 1 hour lecturing us about the arbitrary greedy corporations destroying our nature. Maybe he's had a traumatic family financial event possibly WW2 Japanese concentration camp where the money/saving was taken apart (which was mentioned in the book).